Billie Holiday vs The U.S. was a tough movie to watch for so many reasons. One of the things that struck me as utterly reprehensible (besides the harassment, racial injustice, drug addiction, etc. that she endured) was the lack of accountability from her circle of influence. These folks leached off of her fame and funding, enabled (and encouraged) her self-destructive behavior, and disguised their self-seeking ambitions as "concern" for her well-being like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I was #disgusted by that!
True friends are those who will speak the truth in love -- whether you like it or not. I’m sure you know which friend to call to hear exactly what you want to hear and you know who to call to get the truth that you need! LOL!
Before I knew it was a scripture, my mom used to always say, “Evil communication corrupts good manners.” It was her way of 1) encouraging me to choose the right friends AND 2) subtly letting me know that I had better not let my friends’ poor choices rub off on me because she was not having that in the Jones household!
Dr. Marvin A. Jackson recently spoke about influence and the impact of wise counsel (or the lack thereof). It made me think about my circle of influence and the degree to which I have guarded my thought-life and framed my own experience by monitoring my circle. Someone recently asked me about my “home team” and I realize (and appreciate) that my circle is quite small.
My husband, siblings, and line sisters (women I was initiated with in my sorority) are my safe space and it’s important for you to identify or cultivate yours. In your heart, you know what’s right, and if there are those who encourage or enable you to live a dysfunctional and defeated life, GET RID OF THEM!
Wisdom says:
where there is no counsel, you’ll fall, but in (wise) counsel, there’s safety.
fools think they're right, but wise people accept and adhere to good counsel.
You may not have a “circle” of positive influence or accountability -- it may be just a line at this point...and that’s okay! If you don’t yet have who you need, tap into resources like a coach or someone whose core values align with yours. Whoever they are, make sure they have your best interest at heart, will hold you accountable, and will give wise counsel to help you to live richly every day.
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